Things I am Thankful For Day 20

DAY 20.  My three little miracles.

Lexie

Ashton

Abbie

I know I already said wrote that I am thankful for my kids, but that thankfulness has taken on new meaning this last week.  My miscarriage had already made me more thankful for our beautiful children, but I am even more thankful now. If you are pregnant and freaked out about stuff in general, you may want to stop reading now because this might just give you more stress and I don't want that. Keep reading if you want, but remember that I told you so.   I had extra blood work done after we found out our bad news because of something the lab found in my initial labs, and we got the test results back this week.  I carry anti M antibodies in my blood.  Never heard of it, me either until this week. It seems that there is not very much information out there on what exactly that means in terms of being pregnant.  They won't harm me at all, but they can break down the red bloods cells of any baby that I carry causing miscarriage or stillborn births.  Both parents have to be carriers for it to affect the baby.  We don't know yet if Jake is also a carrier, but I am thinking that he is.  Anyone can become anti M positive at anytime and you would never know it.  I don't think I have always been a carrier, just since I had Ashton (more on this in a minute.)
The worst cases causes death to your baby, but babies can also require blood transfusions in utero or at birth, in more minor cases babies are born premature and severely jaundice.  I don't know for sure and probably never will, but I think that Abbie is our miracle baby.  She was born at 36 weeks and had such bad jaundice that we were at the pediatricians office every other day for her first two weeks until her levels began to stabilize.  It might just be a coincidence but I don't think so.  Healthy babies are born to mom's with anti M all the time but it takes lots of monitoring and includes lots of stress.  We have had the spirit confirm to us that our family is as it should be so I don't think that we will be trying to get pregnant again.  If I were younger and we didn't already have three children things might be different, but I am going to cherish the family that I have and leave it at that.  But my heart still hurts for what might have been.