I don't quite know where to start, but I am so tired of hearing about my current weight-or lack thereof I could just scream. I know that I am really skinny, skinnier than I have ever been in my adult life, in fact, but I am also not unhealthy. I am not wasting away as I have been told by some well meaning people. I am not starving myself, and no there is no magic pill, potion, drink, or powder you can take to "lose weight the easy way." I like the way I look for the first time in a long time. But it has been a really tough nine months and honestly I wouldn't wish my situation on anyone. But I also wouldn't trade it for anything so I dare you to try and figure that one out.
Let me back up a bit, when I found out I was pregnant with the baby I lost in the fall of 2011, I was a very unhealthy weight of 176. By February of 2012 I was down to 169, that was when I found out I was pregnant again. I had a rough pregnancy, I alway do and struggled to gain the weight necessary to keep both of us healthy. I gain 20 pounds, again I don't want to hear about how lucky I am, yes it's really "lucky" to spend day after day hunched over the toilet plucking my guts out. Forcing myself to eat something, anything, just to have something for my body to use as fuel. Really lucky.
I had a really weird reaction to the anesthesia they used after Myles was born, and I was pumped full of liquids because I ended up getting dehydrated. I left the hospital, after giving birth to a 8 pound 5 ounce baby weighing more than I did when I went in. But it was all water weight and within two weeks I was back to just a couple of pounds over my "starting weight". That is the only part of this that has been easy.
As Myles got older, he cried more and more, my mommy instincts told me there was something wrong, more than just a grumpy baby or colic. But I didn't know what was wrong and neither did anyone else. That was when the experiment started. Cut out all dairy and see what happens. The crying lessened and he seemed happier. His weird mucus filled diapers became more normal. He was improving so even though it was hard I kept at it. Finally, at his four month checkup he was diagnosed with MSPI (milk and soy protein intolerance) and shortly thereafter his crying stopped and he started having normal diapers again.
So here we are 9 months later (he will be 10 months on Thursday) both of us dairy and soy free.
I now weigh 137 and am still losing about 1/2 pound a week. I eat about 2500 calories a day and still I lose weight. I am still nursing Myles and don't plan on stopping anytime soon. He is happy, and healthy and growing up so very fast. So to all those people who say "you don't eat any dairy? That must be so hard" It is, sort of, but when you have held your screaming infant in your arms and not had any idea how to help them, while you are watching them literally wasting away because their body isn't able digest and absorb the nutrients you are giving them, you are willing to do anything to help them. It isn't hard then. Not one bit.
To all those people who think I am doing "nothing". I say, I a am the busy mom of four kids, I clean and cook and do laundry. I am the primary president in my ward, and I shuttle kids here and there before and after school. I have to be creative and find solutions for things I can't eat, I make my own bread because almost all commercial bread has dairy or soy in it. I mostly cook from scratch because of the same thing. I have to read the label of everything I buy at the store and I have to shop for speciality items 45 minutes to an hour from my house because no one in town carries them. But, no I don't go to the Y and work out, I can't. I burn enough calories in a day with adding exercise. So if by nothing you mean I don't work out then yes you are right, I can't. But if you think I sit on the couch all day and do "nothing" you dear are wrong.
And finally, to all those people who "have found every pound I've lost" how is that my fault? You choose the things that are important for you, not me. Don't try and make me feel guilty for your bad choice. I am not lucky. But it did take a huge life changing event for me change. Will I ever eat dairy again? Probably, when I am finished nursing Myles and I don't have to eat like this for him, but if he still can't have dairy then I won't either. At least not on a regular basis.
So I am celebrating the fact that I can wear a size 6, I've earned it.
Just don't tell me I have it easy.
I'll get off my soap box now.....
